I know it’s incredibly cliche at this point for people to post end of the year stuff. I’ve seen the memes that say “If the only thing you did this year was survive, that’s okay”, and I wholeheartedly agree with that meme. Looking back on 2023, I pretty much feel like, at least for the first six months, surviving was all I did. It was, overall, not a good year. I already posted in the last entry about the PNES diagnosis, and that completely rocked my world. We also dealt with some pretty intense family stuff that we kept private. 2023 was a hard year, there’s no doubt about it, and I’m glad it’s almost over.
After seeing the memes mentioned above, I decided to go through my photos on my phone from this year. It showed me that this year wasn’t all bad. In fact, there was some pretty great stuff that happened in 2023. I’m not going to use this post to brag about a list of accomplishments. But I want to be able to look back on this post years from now and be reminded that, despite all the hardship, 2023 wasn’t all bad. So I’m going to post some photos and talk about the good stuff associated with those photos, and hopefully you enjoy hearing about some good stuff from my year.
Early on in the year, in the beginning of all the health and family stuff, I decided to get my 14th tattoo. The tattoo is of a comic character named Angela. Angela was originally a character in the Spawn comics, co-created by Todd McFarlane and Neil Gaiman. Gaiman eventually got the rights to the character, and she joined the Marvel universe. Angela is an angel, an assassin, and we eventually discovered that she’s Thor’s sister. She reminds me of a cross between Wonder Woman, Xena the Warrior Princess, and Wolverine. She’s tough, and she’s queer, in a long term relationship with a trans woman. I don’t think of this tattoo as particularly meaningful, but I love the character, and I’m so happy with how the tattoo turned out. Getting this tattoo was one of the bright spots in a dark time.
In February, one of my best friends drew this piece of my characters, The Dissidents. Larrie (an internet celebrity who goes by Mister Larrie on TikTok, Instagram, and other social media platforms) is one of my dearest friends, and I love the art that he makes. He’s mostly a painter and a crafter, so doing this drawing for me was a little different for him. The Dissidents are my creation, and I’m immensely proud of having created them, even though I may never publish anything about them. Larrie taking the time to do this piece means the world to me, and I love his interpretations of the characters.
March 21st is World Down Syndrome Day. On World Down Syndrome Day, people wear funky colored, often mismatched socks to start conversations about Down syndrome awareness. The tradition started because people with Down syndrome have an extra chromosome, and socks look like chromosomes in terms of their shape. This year I bought a bunch of socks for the occasion, and had a lot of fun picking out which ones I was going to wear. Awareness of disabilities is extremely important to me, and I have some people with Down syndrome who I really love, so it was fun to see this picture from that day.
One of my best friends, Sweeney, got their gender affirming surgery early this year. Sweeney lives in Ireland, and we met when I studied abroad there in 2006. We lost touch, but reconnected early this year, and I was able to talk to them on Zoom weekly in the months leading up to their surgery. Sweeney is someone who I can be my authentic self with in a way that I can’t be with many people, so getting to be a part of their journey to living in the body that aligns with who they are was amazing for me. Reconnecting with Sweeney was absolutely one of the best parts of this year, and when I received this photo of them post surgery, it filled me with so much joy.
Another person I spent time with in Ireland was Colleen. Colleen and I were tight in college, but after college we lost touch. A few years ago, we reconnected, and now she lives in Ohio. Getting close to Colleen again has been amazing, and I feel like I can talk to her about anything. We went to see blink-182 together, which is what this picture is from. Even though neither of us enjoyed the concert, and even though I had health issues after having gone, I’m still really glad we spent time together, and I love this picture of us.
Russ and I went to a gay men’s campground twice over the summer. Something we’ve always lamented is that we never had many gay friends. Going to camp was an incredible experience for both of us, and we made a ton of friends. The first photo is from when we were on our way home from picking up Doc after the first time we went to camp, and we were so happy. The second photo is from our second time at camp. I’m so glad we went, and I can’t wait to go back in the summer.
I became Facebook friends with a person named Briar this year. Briar sells bracelets in xyr Etsy shop, and I bought three of them this year. Getting to know Briar and following xem on Facebook has been great, and I love these bracelets.
Jane was my very best friend in college. We just got each other. We could be the goofiest people with each other, or we could talk about philosophy and theology, or we could be each other’s emotional support, and it all felt natural and comfortable and good. Jane has lived abroad since college, so we never get to see each other. This year, Jane was in the States, and was driving through Ohio, and we got to see her and her lovely mother. It made my heart full to see Jane, and I missed her quite terribly. I’m so glad we got this picture, and now I need to finally plan my trip to Belgium to see her at her home.
Russ and I grew closer this year, which of course happens the longer you’re together. I told him recently that we’re at a place in our relationship where I always knew we could be, but took a ton of work to get to. I think we’ve projected the image of a perfectly happy relationship for a long time, but the truth is that marriage takes a lot of work. It truly seems like now is a time in our lives when we can enjoy all the work we’ve put in, because it’s truly paying off. This picture is of us at Wrecking Crew Brew Works here in Medina. We discovered it this year and, while we’ve only been a few times, we really like the atmosphere. You can tell from the flag behind us in the picture that it’s a welcoming establishment (it’s not a gay bar, but they’re definitely supportive), and the few times we sat and had a drink were lovely.
Here’s a picture of Doc and Oz. Oz was diagnosed with kidney failure this year, which was very hard news to receive. Despite that, he seems to still be doing pretty well. We don’t know how much time we have with him, but we’re going to cherish the time we do have. Doc and Oz like to wrestle with each other and are good friends. I love my pets.
In July we went to a Buffalo Bisons game that was a fundraiser for sarcoma research at Roswell Park Cancer Institute. My sister Cate organized the fundraiser and threw the first pitch. Yellow is the color for sarcoma awareness, and was my dad’s favorite color, so we wore yellow for the game. In this picture you can see my cousin Molly, who is my very best friend in the world, at the end of the row. Another great thing about the game was that I got to see my friend from high school, Dave. It was great to see him, and he lives in Buffalo now, so hopefully we’ll see each other more.
In September, my former work spouse (and all around wonderful human) Jarryd and I went on a road trip to Detroit to see Death Cab for Cutie and The Postal Service perform two of my favorite albums of all time - “Transatlanticism” and “Give Up” - for the 20th anniversary of those albums. The road trip was a blast, and spending time with Jarryd was wonderful, and was my first adventure without Russ since the PNES diagnosis. By some miracle, I didn’t have any seizure episodes the whole time. The concert was incredible - we had phenomenal seats, and the bands sounded incredible live. The best part, though, was just quality time with a great friend.
I spent some time in Buffalo in October, and really enjoyed the quality time with my mom. We went to see Moulin Rouge at Shea’s in Buffalo, and the show was a blast. I love my mom, and I’m really glad we got to go.
The best moment of the year was definitely the P!nk concert in November. For Russ’s birthday, my mom paid for tickets for us to go see P!nk. I bought the tickets a long time after they went on sale, and I wasn’t optimistic that we’d get good seats. When we got to the concert, it turns out we had the very worst seats in the venue - way up high in the rafters, behind the stage where we couldn’t see anything. At first we were bummed, but we quickly decided that we were going to have fun anyways. One of the openers was a DJ named KidCutUp who played remixes of a bunch of fun songs. Russ and I were dancing and singing, while everyone around us seemed depressed to be there. Then a woman walked up to Russ and said hello and said, “Would you like better seats?” I thought it was a scam of some kind, and Russ asked her how much they cost. The woman explained that she was with the tour, and that she just wanted to offer us the chance to have a great experience at the concert. We accepted, and made our way to our new seats, and were BLOWN AWAY by how good the seats were. Then the show was honestly the best concert I’ve ever been to. It was an incredible night, and I wish I could thank the person who was with the tour and gave us a chance to have an amazing experience. It was the kind of moment that you’ve heard about happening to other people, but never think will happen to you. It was by far the best night of the year.
Last memory of 2023 (this post has taken a couple days to write at the point so I’m going to be done after this one). On the Friday before Christmas, Russ and I were pall bearers at the funeral for an incredible person named Annie. The funeral was of course sad, but it was also good to celebrate Annie’s life. On the way home from the funeral, Russ and I both said that it was nice to be back in church together. We met in church, and most of our memories from college are associated with Campus Ministry, and even though it was a sad occasion, it felt good to be in church together. We decided we’d go to mass on Christmas Eve, so we texted Russ’s best friend since kindergarten - Joe. Joe is an amazing person, his wife Kristin is equally amazing, and their kids are wonderful. We texted them because we know they go to a very progressive Catholic church, and we wanted to know if we could tag along for Christmas. That mass was so special - being with wonderful friends, participating in mass with Russ, and a homily that was centered around a call to justice and an end to oppression. We chatted with Joe and Kristin and their kids and Joe’s mom after mass, and Joe took this photo. I’m so glad we went, and it was a really nice way to end the year.
Woof, this was a long one …
So yes, 2023 certainly had its struggles, especially the first half. Things got much better around my birthday in late September, and I’m confident things will continue to be good in the new year. I am glad I took the time to write this, because when I look back on this year someday, I’m going to be glad to have these moments in 2023 that showed that, even in a hard time, a lot of good can happen.
Happy New Year to you!